I bought a treadmill on January 1st. After almost three weeks of shipping, it finally arrived one week ago today.
I know my husband was skeptical about spending money on it seeing I wasn't using my active gym membership at the time. But I had gone over it in my mind time and time again. It is what would work for me:
It is currently winter and too dark for me to run alone after work. Call me crazy, I just don't want to ask for that kind of trouble if I can avoid it. That and the dogs would go mad if they knew I went running without them. I honestly can't get a good run in if I'm handling two dogs. And although the gym was a few blocks away from the house, I found it extremely hard to come home late from work, change, let the dogs out just to throw them back in their kennel so I could leave for another hour or two. I just wouldn't go. (Membership has now been canceled btw...and there's always the FREE gym on base!)
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In the months leading up, I bought an at-home workout program, but after two weeks of doing the same moves EVERY.SINGLE.NIGHT...I just quit. And I quit hard.
The Marine Corp Ball was coming up and I bought a dress with a cutout on the side. Big mistake. I THOUGHT I wanted something younger looking and my husband found it to be kind of sexy. I had made a plan to get in shape and imagined how I would look in the dress. But I had quit and I hated the way I looked in it because all I saw was my failed attempt. I could see the fold of my skin on the side and just really thought it was a bad decision after all and unbecoming for my age. I'm sure I'm being too hard on myself...but that's what I started to do. No help was needed from others, I was doing enough of my own self torture.
The way I felt about myself after giving up on top of already feeling in inadequate shape for my age, I just did more of nothing. My husband would work out 2-3 times a day if his schedule permitted while I worked my full time job, made sure the house was clean and that dinner was made. He made his workouts a priority while I saw them as the optional "if there's enough time." I was jealous.
I got to the point that every time I would see one of my "fitness active" friends post on Facebook or Instagram, I instantly went to a lower place in my mind. I thought to myself..."Oh, it must be easy when your already tall and lean." "Oh, its easy when you don't have to work all the time." "Oh, its easy when you come from an active family." NO. I realized most everyone either worked, had multiple children to care for and other adult responsibilities just like me. So if they can do it, what's my excuse? That's when I decided that if I really wanted something, I needed to make it a PRIORITY. Who cares if the house wasn't perfect? There was plenty of spare time I was on the couch watching TV that could be spent running on the treadmill...and maybe even still watching TV!
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I have run on my treadmill everyday for the last week I've had it. I don't find it burdensome to do, I find it refreshing. I just turn on my iPod that connects right to the treadmill and dance and sing as I get my cardio in for the day. After that, I've got enough energy to move right into a little weight lifting and other exercises using my mat on the floor. Some nights, I can't get enough.
I wake up in the mornings feeling good and ready to start my day. It urges me to make healthier food choices and its become very easy to say no to fast food or a nightly alcoholic drink.
But in addition to changing my way of thinking, I believe its also important to set realistic expectations. Unless your profession is to be a model, personal trainer, professional body builder, etc., your results will vary from their results. It is their job to train HOURS a day, EVERYDAY and to eat on a very regimented routine. I feel that social media nowadays communications to women especially, that if they are fat they need to be skinny and if they are already lean they need to be more sculpted. I find it disturbing because yet again, these major corporations have got you feeling inadequate and they can provide you the solution to all your problems. Heck, I've fallen for it...but in a healthier way now.
Again, my point is not to get a pity party going here. I would never go around calling myself fat or seeking sympathy from others. I simply want to express my own battle and what I finally decided to do about it...I wanted to challenge myself to look and feel better for my own personal self esteem. Maybe that's my own issue, but what's wrong with wanting to feel better about yourself? My urge to you is that if you are sitting on the sidelines dreaming about getting in shape one day, just get up and do it. Life and other plans will not get any easier and the time is now. Make a plan, buy the basic equipment you need, and keep a log after your workouts and it will keep you interested.
Good luck and I'll keep you posted as to my progress!
Until next time,
Meredith
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